So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.
One day last semester I was on the bus heading to class and I was like ‘fuck class started ten minutes ago I’m going to be late again.’
And then I looked down and realized that my professor was in the seat in front of me editing his powerpoints for the class that we were both supposed to be in.
By the “not all men” logic, Russian Roulette is a perfectly safe game to play. Sure, one of the chambers has a bullet in it…
but not all chambers
My roommate bought a pack of 24 rolls of toilet paper yesterday, in addition to the half dozen we already had, and stored all of them in the bathroom. And just let me tell you, there’s something incredibly calming and reassuring about looking next to you while you’re on the toilet and seeing 30 rolls of toilet paper sitting there. You get a feeling like, no matter how bad shit gets in there, you’re always going to make it out okay in the end.
Why say “ding dong you are wrong” when you could say “eggs and bacon you’re mistaken”
do you ever get cuddle frustrated? Not sexually frustrated, but just get really frustrated and asdfghklg because you’re not cuddling someone right now and you just really need to feel someone with their arms around you and bury your face in their neck and just feel them close